Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
