In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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