i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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