I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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