they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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