I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
