Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
