so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
