Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
