She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
