One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
