you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize