You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
