It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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