You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
