he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
