if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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