How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
