If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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