...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize