im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
