His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
