Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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