Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
