Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize