Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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