I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
