Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
