I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
