I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
