he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
