she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
