Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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