Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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