I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
