there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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