whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
