we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
