Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
