He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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