um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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