I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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