Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize