sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize
