I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
