break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
