lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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