Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
where are my eyebrows?
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