that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
