i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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