Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
