happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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