I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
