remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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