I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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