how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
