Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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