I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
