I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
